Driving in Circles

I've been putting off this post all year, hoping that I'll master the arcane art of driving in circles. I've actually mastered the art of driving in circles figuratively; I can go nowhere fast as good as anybody. But I'm of course talking about those mini versions of Parisian torture devices, the traffic circle.

New Jersey is supposedly "famous" for its traffic circles, those ingenious interchanges where stopping is merely a suggestion and yield signs reign with all the assertiveness of King Henry III. At one time there were 70 or 80 of them throughout the state; now there are only about 37 according to Wikipedia. There are two main circles in my area: the Flemington Circle on Rt. 31 and the Pennington Circle, also on Rt. 31.

My first encounter with a traffic circle was actually in Europe, probably Paris. I've had to mask that memory for mental health reasons. I was part of the problem, since I hadn't grasped one key rule: those already IN the circle had the right of way. I barreled right in and shrugged off the shrill horns as just the rudeness of the French. Guess I'm lucky to be alive.

I grew to love the wide-laned, easygoing traffic circle in Long Beach, Calif. when it was part of my commute to Torrance. It was like ego snow; you felt like a pro maneuvering through it even though it was just a bunny slope.

Here in New Jersey, these are serious traffic gauntlets. Better know your exit, dude, or you'll be showered with curses, insults and maybe other foreign objects as the smarter folks around you express themselves.

Now I know the basic rules of driving in circles. Wait until it's clear before entering the Zone. Ease in and move to the inside lane if you are not using the next exit. Ease out at your exit when all is clear. Nothing to it. Except when others aren't playing by the same rules. My biggest anxiety is not the guy behind me nibbling on my bumper. It's Racer X right next to me who any second is going to switch to the other side and try to move past. No wonder quivering fools like me stick doggedly to the outside lane. We're trying to get to where we're going without totaling the car, losing our license, or losing our minds.

New Jersey drivers are very skilled; they have to be. The skill, though, has created an unfortunate byproduct--disdain for others who don't think, react or accelerate like they do.

We need to give each other a break and a brake in those circles. After all, it's kinda social in there. I'd wave but I can't pry my fingers off the steering wheel.